love/hate relationship.

part of me adores christmas. all of the joy and gifts and family-ness.

but there is also a HUGE chunk of me that hates christmas with a passion.

it's fucking stressful.

christmas is like five days away.

i've bought one present. an amazing, special present for my mom that was handmade and supposedly shipped over a week ago, but still hasn't arrived. and now i'm freaking out that it may not get here in time.

i have NO idea what to get for my stepdad. my mom suggested car dollies. yeah, right. he may want them, but i'm not buying john little mini ramps to drive his car on.

the siblings are easy. gift cards are an amazing thing. larissa and booger, there is a 99.9% chance that you will never see this page. but if, for some crazy reason, you're creeping on my blog, i'm sorry i just ruined christmas.

daddy is easy. gift certificate for bowling at paradise. i gave him a gift certificate for westside lanes in olympia several years ago, and it's still chilling on his refrigerator. because we never go to olympia. but paradise is halfway between our houses and we were there just a couple of weeks ago, so i think it's safe to say that it will get used. bowling is our bond.

fuck barb and her kids. she's psycho, and she won't be my stepmom for much longer, so she's not getting anything from me. speaking of her, i need to pick up the crock pot she bought for me from my dad's house before she takes off with it when she finishes moving out. call me selfish, but i at least want something from her before she leaves. she owes me for all the shit she's put me through the last ten years. a crock pot doesn't make up for therapy and being on prozac at age 13, but it's better than nothing.

i also have to find a gift for tamara, who's name i drew in the gift exchange at work. wtf ... every single other coworker has pretty much taken up stock with starbucks, they drink it so much. a gift card would be an easy gift, but no ... i get the one person who doesn't "do" starbucks. eff my life. maybe she'll enjoy the lovely hot cocoa set i got on sale at stupid prices? i bought it for a backup present in case i forgot anyone in my family. but i suppose it would do.

okay, enough ranting. i hate being stressed.

thank god tomorrow is my friday.

but then i have to go christmas shopping after work. most likely by myself, since i live so far away from my friends that no one wants to brave the snow to come to puyallup and shop with me.

shit.

i hate christmas.

i'm stressing myself out thinking about it.

i need to go to bed. there's no stress when you're unconscious.