A new beginning ... again.

Almost exactly one year ago, I made one of the best decisions of my life.

I decided to do something about my unhappiness with my weight and body, and I joined Weight Watchers. I paid close attention to the food I ate for the first time in my life, and it paid off. By June I had lost 25 pounds, and I was happier than I had been in a very long time.

But then after I got back from Texas in July, I started to go downhill. I allowed myself to start drinking regular soda again, but only every now and then, telling myself that a few wouldn't hurt. That turned into eating fast food again, then I quit going to Weight Watchers meetings and my poor eating habits came back.

Now, six months later, I'm three pounds heavier than I was last January. All of my hard work has disappeared down the drain, and I have nothing to show for it except wearing my "fat" pants again and hating the way I look. When I look in the mirror, I despise the overweight person that stares back at me. And when I look into my closet full of adorable clothes that I can't fit into anymore, it kills me. One glance at the Wii Fit sitting on a shelf in my living room, the same gadget that I've used only twice since buying it, and I vow that I will put that thing to good use and work out. But then I convince myself that I'm too tired or too busy, and the Wii Fit stays put on the shelf.

Every day I regret the poor health decisions I've made in the past few months, but I've kept going every day without doing anything to change it. I kept wishing I could go back to the way I looked six months ago. But then I would go and eat French fries, only to regret it soon after, and then the whole vicious cycle would begin again.

But that all is going to change. It HAS to change. I'm sick of having low self-esteem, and I'm sick of hating my figure. I lost the weight once, and I can certainly lose it again.

Tonight I went to my first Weight Watchers meeting in half a year. And it felt great. My mom is doing the program again, as well as her good friend Marylee. It'll be harder this time around, since I'm living on my own and am responsible for buying my own food and making sure that I stick with it. But I still have a support system in my mom. I know I can do this. I so want to do this.

But I'm going to do it differently this time around. I'm doing it better. Last time, I relied solely on changing my eating habits - I stepped on a treadmill once the whole time I was on the diet. This time, I'm making sure that exercise is very much incorperated into it. Not only do I have the Wii Fit, but I also have free reign of the gym in the rental office in my apartment complex. Plus, when the weather gets warmer, there's Bradley Lake practically next door, with it's pretty walking trail.

I'm also starting a new medication for my migraines, and it's a medication that also happens to double as a weight-loss medication. I wasn't expecting a diet pill when I went searching for a migraine med. But it's a nice perk.

Anyways, my fridge and freezer are now stocked full of healthy food and drinks, and I'm really excited about starting Weight Watchers again. I'm ready for change.

I can do this.